Senior RM Judith Pusey did not mince words as she berated two women who appeared before her to answer charges related to fighting over a man.
One of the women, Charmaine Burkett, was charged with wounding, after she allegedly used a knife to stab the other woman, Claudine Grant three times.
The women had an altercation after meeting inside the Kingston home of the man they both believed to be their exclusive partner.
Grant told the court that she was asleep inside the house when she awoke and saw Burkett staring at her.
She said Burkett was armed with a knife and attacked her.
Grant, who said she was given the key to the premises by the man, said she struggled with Burkett who seemed determined to end her life.
She said she had to bite Burkett to prevent her from inflicting more stabs in her back.
But Burkett denied the claims, saying she was the one attacked by Grant.
RM Pusey told the women to wake up and smell the coffee, noting that she would love to meet the man to see of he was really all that.
The matter is set for trial on April 13.