I take note of recent stories regarding Ascot Primary school and their graduation fiasco. It should be noted early that graduation drama, mishaps, slipups, omissions and bad preparation have affected and remained in many a school leaver’s memories.
I find it difficult to accept that all the parents were kept in the dark throughout this “planning” stage and were aware only at the moment of the actual event that those students who ‘failed’ the PEP exams were to be placed at the back of the graduation queue and barred from marching with the rest.
I also find it hard to accept that the fact that the so called ‘failed’ children would not be allowed to wear graduation gowns and caps was an overnight decision. There is usually a rehearsal, notices sent out for information, students advised via letter to give to parents or parents getting emails. I do not believe this was a surprise stunt pulled at the very last minute to all.
There are two things here, not limited to Ascot Primary.
1) If this approach to segregation was known prior, did any parent of any child that would be allowed to wear a cap and gown lodge a complaint? Did any student complain about how their so called ‘failed’ schoolmates were treated, insisting that a better way be found?
2) If this was pulled at the last minute, did parents of one set of students say, “hold on a minute, if this is unfair to some students it is unfair to all and we cannot endorse this?” Did those students quite happy and content to be getting their happy day stand with their fellow students and say “we are all one student body and our graduation ceremony should not be segregated like this?”
I doubt that was the case. In fact, it is usually the case that parents wish to focus on the success and positives of their own children and that of their friends without much regard for anyone else.
We have a tendency to want our children to outshine others, collect all the awards possible and enjoy all the photo moments. It is a strange reality though if we talk about “feelings” and being set apart at graduations.
In reality, it is already “setting others apart” when only a few get highlighted and are given special mention and merit. Should we cut out giving awards with much aplomb and merely hand out certificates?
Should it be graduation etiquette to ensure all graduates look and feel the same by not giving any of them special front and centre hype? In my mind, anything that depicts some as great performers shows all others as regular or subpar.
Many will say I am being extreme, but if you look at it in actual and practical terms there is very little difference between having one set awarded and rewarded loudly or one set being highlighted as “worthy” more than others.
What will be good is if the top performing students and their parents also take an interest in certain extremes and seek to give support to those affected. After all, the real world is far more hardcore than simply topping a class as an individual or earning trophies.
The ability to stand up for others who are dealt with unfairly or affected negatively is more meaningful to being an upstanding and outstanding member of society than something to frame and hang on a wall.
The debate continues.
